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While stealing is a dumb thing to do and is a serious issue for a lot of business owners every year, the way the dumbest fraudsters get caught is downright entertaining. Here are some stories of the dumbest fraudsters ever caught.

1. Bob - Bob was a purchaser for a large company in the south. He concocted this brilliant scheme to create a shell company through which to purchase items for his employer and charge a nickel or two more for each item than the vendor charged him. The sales representative helped him pull it off and they both split the proceeds. Several years after leaving the company, he was still collecting the difference between what his shell company charged and what the sales rep charged his former employer. What got him caught? He moved to a different house and sent a change of address form for the checks to keep rolling in to his 'company'. The new purchaser had never heard of this 'new' company and investigated only to learn that it was the new address of Bob, the ex-purchaser.

2. Police were having a little difficulty getting a confession from one fraudster. Because this was a small town and a smaller police force, they didn't have the budget for lie detection equipment, so they improvised. They found a metal colander in the kitchen and attaching two wires to it, they placed it on his head taping the wires to a nearby copy machine. Each time the suspect answered the question incorrectly, one of the investigators would push a button remotely and the copier would spit out a piece of paper with two words on it, "He's Lying." Frustrated by this new fangled piece of technology, the suspect confessed.

3. One man walked into a bank with a $100 million United States bond and demanded both the principal and the interest immediately. Unfortunately for him, the largest bond ever printed was for $1 million dollars.

4. Maria walked into the bank, she had carefully written out beforehand, "This is a stickup, I have a gun, give me all your money." The teller complied and dutifully placed an exploding dye pack in with the cash. Maria took the money and left her note, wishing to get out of the bank as quickly as possible. When the investigators turned the note over, they began laughing. Maria had written the note on the back of a completed application for food stamp assistance. Isn't it good to know that there are people who will do ANYTHING to get off of welfare?

5. John - Having been arrested for driving with a suspended license, John showed the brilliance of a star public school student and paid his fine handing the officer an envelope with payment for his bail and leaving quickly. When the officer opened the envelope, he discovered what they would call a 'counterfeit bill'. Some police officers are actually smart enough to know the difference between real money and the pink $500 bill in the Monopoly game. John is in jail now for counterfeiting with Monopoly money. Anyone have a get out of jail free card he could use?

6. Tom - like John before him, used a phony check to pay his bail and was released. It was only upon a closer inspection of the check that the police became suspicious, as they discovered that no printing company has what Tom used, the "Rabid Puppies" design would probably not go over well with dog lovers.

7. Idiot or Politician? - Tom Katona fell for the Nigerian bank fraud where he responded to the email of the "princess" "son" or "daughter" of the Nigerian government who would pay out twice the amount of money you pay in because they do not have access to American banks. Mr. Katona decided not only to send in his life savings for the quick return, but he also sent in over a million dollars in county funds which he embezzled hoping to replace it all quickly when he cashed his Nigerian Cashiers Check, which of course, turned out to be fake.

8. Ramona - Ramona was doing the classic scheme of diverting checks meant for invoices and bills and using them to pay for cashiers checks made out to herself. Why was she doing this? Because she was trying to pay restitution in some previous embezzlement cases she was convicted in. Ramona is cooling her hot little fingers in prison as you are reading this.

9. Crazy? - An Indiana man was arrested after he tried to cash a $50,000 check from God. The police found several checks on him signed by "King/Savior" and "King of Kings" and "Lord of Lords"

10. And my favorite dumb fraudster - A man walked into the local Bank of America branch where he handed the teller a note. "this iz a stickup. Put all your muny in this bag." Getting nervous, sensing that perhaps someone had seen him write the note, he left and walked across the street to the Wells Fargo Bank where he handed the teller the note. Seeing the spelling on the note, the teller guessed that this guy was one fry short of a happy meal, and told him that she couldn't accept the note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip. So she told him to fill out a Wells Fargo slip or go back to the Bank of America. Dejected, he actually left the bank and returned to the Bank of America, where the police found him waiting in line for the next teller.

David Roberts, CFE, CQBPA, MBA, lives in Kissimmee, Florida with four girls, three dogs, two snakes and one wife. He has been a member of the ACFE for four years and has been studying fraud for longer than that. He is the owner of Homesoon Accounting Services which specializes in Quickbooks Consultations and Fraud Prevention and Detection.

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